Your mission should you accept it (by adding your answers at the bottom) is to give me your answers to the following stupid interview questions.
To get your creative funny juices overflowing,  read over Mr. Maddox’s website first. (there are not really answers here–just a funny site, that might stimulate some great tongue-in-cheek answers).
Here are the questions.
1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
2. If you were an animal or a tree, what kind would you be?
3. What are your weaknesses?
4. What in particular interested you about our company?
5. What would your past managers say about you?
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1. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Celebrating the 5 year anniversary of walking out on this job interview.
2. If you were an animal or a tree, what kind would you be? A dog taking a leak on your leg after mistaking it for a tree.
3. What are your weaknesses? The old bladder ain’t what it used to be…
4. What in particular interested you about our company? Nothing in particular; I just need a job and I’m not picky.
5. What would your past managers say about you? Due to sealed confidentiality agreements signed pursuant to my “voluntarily” leaving, they wouldn’t say much.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I hope to have your job, you cretin.
If you were an animal or a tree, what kind would you be?
After staring up at the ceiling, pondering the question, I like to say…”you are kidding, right?”
What are your weaknesses? Other than drinking too much and drugs, I guess it is just that I work too hard.
What in particular interested you about our company?
Uh…you called me back in. Shessh. Cuz it looks to me like i can move up fast here.
What would your past managers say about you?
They love the donuts I bring in on holidays.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
I will see myself in the mirror, silly!
If you were an animal or a tree, what kind would you be?
I would be a human animal. As such, I would save trees by eating beavers.
What are your weaknesses?
My backhand, it sucks! Having tourette’s isn’t exactly a company picnic either.
What in particular interested you about our company?
The receptionist.
What would your past managers say about you?
You mean, if they were still with us?Â