Remember 5th grade? Might have been 6th, who can really remember?
Back then, kids were split into two groups—those who cared and those who didn’t. Kids who cared were organized, had new pencils, and even new dividers in brand new notebooks. The kids who didn’t care couldn’t find homeroom, didn’t get signed up for the right classes and had to borrow a pencil from their neighbor.
When the teacher yelled “Listen up!” when the class got out of control, the kids who cared did, and those who didn’t, didn’t. Therein lies the story of their future.
Good jobs, promotions, and non-McDonald’s jobs await those who ‘listened up.’ You know this is true.
The world is full of the too-cool or the overlooked or the under-motivated or the un-educated; sadly, these perpetual victims learned every one of life’s hardest lessons except the one that mattered the most.
If this is you, and assuming you would like a do-over, what can you do now? Or is simply too late, just because back in 5th grade you chose the wrong path.
Any ideas? Anyone? Anyone? (I am sure it is NOT really you, but others, Ideas for them?)
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LOL, it was 6th grade for me. The seperated us literally and obviously. The advance students had classes at one end of the 6th graders hall, and I guess those of us who were supposed to do nothing had all our classes at the other end.
I graduate from college 11 years later cum laude
Well … one could start to care about things, really care, and slowly that caring would show up in one’s actions and then with some careful personal marketing people would see that your are a person that does care and that caring manifests in the world. This would not be easy and it would go against the typical grain … but it might be worth a try. What would one have to lose?
Yobachi…congratulations, although a bit late…but you should be proud of your accomplishments. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you do so often. I welcome your comments.
Dean,
Good points…caring…or being engaged is where it all starts. Thanks for this idea.
gl
When I was in grade school, I was enthusiastic about learning, but most of my friends were not. So I kind of pretended I didn’t care about school. That I would like to undo, because it kept me from really exploring my academic side.
Brad…I am sure you have been exploring plenty. But that does bring a common issue and maybe a future blog post about the too-cool issue. I see some people who are still, in their 20′s, overly concerned with their peer group. This too-cool attitude manifests itself in odd ways, eg. not really pushing or trying too hard, being afraid of failure so they never have to fail in the eyes of this other group. Sometimes you get ahead by being uncool.
I was something of an underachiever all the way through my first year of university, managing a good solid “C-minus” average at best. Somehow never could grasp the real value of learning “this stuff”.
20 years later, I finished my engineering degree, and 8 years after that, had my Masters’ and Doctorate. What made the difference? It took that long for me to appreciate the fact that there was joy to be had in learning.
Wish I could go back and explain that to myself sooner…
So, it is reallytruly Dr. Robert Hruzek? You seem so, er, normal? And yes, there are a lot of life mulligans we all wish for…
6 grade is a turning point and the easy way is to divide the kids into who cares and who does not. the earlier kids can be accountable the better. However there are studies that prove we live up to what is expected of us; kids are divided into groups, smart, kinda smart, and dumb. the actual names are more politicaly correct but you get the point.
The studies show, teachers, once kids have labels, expect performance to meet that label, kids not wanting to dissapoint perform to their label.
Consider the sterotypes that a child, black, poor and male would have when being taugh by a teacher, middle class, white and female.
We need more diversity for teachers in elementary and middle school, and less labels for students.
have you ever thought, the kid not paying attention could be hungry, angry, and witness to no role models that point to a brighter future. Keep hope alive. By the way, I didn’t care in 6th grade or high school, some how and some way, I found hope!
Thanks, Jim, for your reasoned comment. Certainly, I am aware of how important our environments are in our development. A big part of what I am trying to do here on this blog, in a small way, is to offer up some positive mentoring let’s call it, for the majority of us who do not ‘dig our job.’
As you know, most of us fit that category, as studies show that about 75% of us do not like our jobs.
What I am searching for probably does not exist. The problem might be to figure out a way to ‘be there’at the exact moment when the person is receptive.
In your own case, was there an event or person that helped you find hope? Just curious.
and thanks again.
Oh GL, what a great subject and how much I could say about it. I’m afraid that if I let myself go, the comment may become longer than the post. Well, you asked…
I absolutely agree with you that whether you care or not determines a huge part of your success in life.
I don’t necessarily think though that if you didn’t care in school, then you’re doomed to a life of mediocrity. First of all, success is a funny word. Whether or not you feel successful depends entirely on your definition of success. You may not have a prestigious or well-paying job but still feel that you are happy and successful. The reverse is also true. The key is to determine what success means to you, personally, and live that version of it.
Second, educational systems are funny environments. They are not necessarily built to encourage the development of everyone’s innate gifts and talents. They exist to impart a particular amount of knowledge and then let you go. It may very well happen that the school you went to didn’t tap into your particular talents and may, in fact, have discouraged them.
It may also be the case that you are not naturally predisposed to being organized and following rules. If you are familiar with Myers-Briggs, you know that there are people who are naturally inclined to be organized, and there are those who aren’t – no value judgment, just natural preferences. Would it serve you well to cram yourself full of information that doesn’t light your fire? Maybe and maybe not. Would it serve you well to try and fit yourself into a particular mold when you are really somebody else on the inside? It depends on your perspective. I personally believe that we do much better in life – and live much happier lives – when we can play to our natural strengths, rather than trying to fit somebody else’s vision of how we should be. (I could write 15,000 more words on this subject but won’t. Aren’t you glad?)
That said, I’m also a firm believer that we have an opportunity to recreate ourselves every day and every moment. I’m coming at it not so much from that glorious American belief that you can reinvent yourself and become wildly successful at any time. My view is shaped primarily by Buddhist philosophy that suggests that every moment we live is new and fresh, and in each of those moments we have a choice to leave our past conditioning behind and choose, in full freedom, how we want to be in the world.
In other words, just because we were “too cool to learn” at school and have shaped our identity around that doesn’t mean that right now we can’t shed that identity and become something else. The key question is: who do you want to be today, right now?
See, the world is full of people whose brilliance revealed itself late in life. (Grandma Moses is one of the best-known examples.) And if you are one of them, does it mean that the preceding years were a waste? I emphatically don’t think so. The question is not so much what happened to you in the past but what lessons you learned from your experiences and how you are applying them in the present. And to take it to an even bigger perspective: Whatever is happening to you, are you using your life’s material to progress on that ultimate path of becoming a fully evolved human being? (And well, that’s a whole other subject…)
I think I’ll stop here… I apologize for the length and hope this was useful in some way. I really do need to learn to be brief, if only out of compassion for my readers. I was just thinking about this after my latest, 1500-word post on my blog…
Everyone!!
What she just said.
Brilliant comment, Izabella.
Thanks.
Hey, you take that back! I most certainly am NOT, er, normal!
Yes, it’s true; I do have a Doctorate, although the aspiration bloomed late. (Motto: I may not be smart, but at least I’m slow!) I think it came from watching The Muppet Show. I suddenly thought it would be cool to be called “Dr. Bob”.
In response to finding hope, for me it happened at The University of Vermont. I attended in the early to mid 70′s. As a Freshman, I noticed many of the gang that I partied with, were focused on what they wanted out of life. Guys were speaking od being Doctors, or Lawyers,they had goals i had never heard expressed before. I remember thinking, I thought you had to be smart to be a doctor or lawyer, and these guys are no smarter than me. It was at that moment that I understood I had an opportunity for excellence and that my friend provided hope
Great story JD. I had a similar epiphany in business one day, when I realized the business leader I had had flaws and didn’t really believe in what he was preaching to the company. Even I knew better, I thought to myself. thanks again.
Great topic!
Several thoughts:
1. One of the commenters mentioned about being in the advanced class or with the kids down the hall. I’ve noticed that you may be in the advanced class at one point in life and with the kids down the hall at another. Your position can shift. It’s important to know where you are and what you plan to do about it.
2. Having a passion can help. I’m sure there are exceptions but I’ve noticed that the people with an intense interest in a particular subject soon became interested in learning in general.
3. Being determined to learn in spite of your teachers. This is crucial because you’ll encounter some lousy ones.
4. Asking for help. This is a major regret of mine. I wound up getting a J.D. but my entire academic career would have been easier if I’d sought assistance from more people, if only to get their insight on the basics. Later in life, I’ve learned how generous people can be with their knowledge.
Wise words and even better advice. Thanks Michael.