Note: There is nothing more fun than writing about something here and then months later, someone comments with a personal story that happened in their own work life. I really enjoy the two-way conversations that result. Reader Ralph just made a comment today on a post I wrote back in September, which was on ‘graceful ways to coach someone out of your company,’ instead of FIRING them. I thought I would put it here because I know readers seldom go back months to read new comments. Ralph recently went through this, as I know countless others are too. I thought his story about how he handled it might be helpful to those who are being coached out of their own companies. Ralph’s comment and story is below.

I recently experienced this. My employer wrote me a letter and in detail he shared with me my “lack of interest” in my position. And stated that it would be better for “us” if we would part as friends then bitter enemies.
Honestly, I lost all and any interests that I once had. It was no longer a fun at work. I do know my job and what is expected of me. I am highly recommended by past owners of this business. I have never ever had a problem where I am currently employed.
My employer who tactfully wrote me a note has been my boss for the last 3 years now. I have gone thru 2 others.
When he purchased this business he asked me if I would be his manager and that I was highly recommended. So I said “sure.” (I have been a manager before, it not a big deal to me).
Long story short…2 years later I stepped down because when I lost my 2nd brother in less than 3 years, I shut down.
My position was no longer my number one priority. Knowing this I stepped back into my previous position.
But as his store manager, I was never offered any profit sharing, no bonuses, no medical, no 401k, no vacation. There was absolutely no incentives or benefits. And he wanted me to work 6 days a week.
My only reward that I saw was getting a paycheck just like everyone else. But I was given a 7 dollars more an hour.
I’m sorry but I don’t work for free. Just like anyone else. My time is important.
I lost me in all this because I was let down. And he does not give out compliments either. It’s all focused on the negative. Slowly, he took all my dignity away and I was angry. Thus the note…
Good news folks! I took the note insulting and less than truthful and I was angered by it. Then I read it again and again and again.
I read between the lines.
When I approached him about 4 days later about his note to me. I just said, “Oh! Mr. Smith. I read your note to me over my weekend and I just want to say thank you very much for taking the time to write me a note. And I want to thank you for inspiring me.”
That’s it. All my stress just lifted out of me. It was gone. No more anger, stress or any other negative thing.
And we are working together again, which is very nice.
But I learned that if I am not happy where I am, It’s okay to look for employment elsewhere.
But I am going back to school. Get a degree and make my own destiny.
I went as far as I could go.
My commitment to me is to give my best when I am at work. Be pleasant to everyone. Don’t allow negativity to control. And be that employee he once had.
And you know what? I just had to let all the anger go. It was the source of damming up my performance.
What a great lesson learned.