Comments on: What Seth Just Said

By: Marsha Keeffer, Silicon Valley, CA

Marsha Keeffer, Silicon Valley, CA — Tue, 13 Jan 2009 06:58:32 +0000

Seth just puts it on the table – mood and attitude play a huge part in our success. If we can manage them, we really can do just about anything. This is why it’s important for those suffering a job loss to work out the anger and dump it before connecting with a potential employer.

Re. dealing with rejection – we don’t know what will happen when we interview or start using our contact list. Keep an open mind. A job search is a trip into the great unknown. You get enough information, do enough footwork and results start happening. Always focus on the cause, not the effect.

By: wwds

wwds — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 20:20:18 +0000

Eric,

You might be right about the fear element, meaning the fear of rejection. Do you have any suggestions on ways job seekers can cope better with this fear?
I have always used the ‘what’s the worst thing that could happen to you?” concept because generally speaking, even that is NOT so bad, and it almost never happens so why not give it a try. This is why people should practice interviewing too..slightly off topic.
Thanks for weighing in on this…all these ideas are helpful to many, many people today. Good thinking.

By: Eric Kramer

Eric Kramer — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 19:44:50 +0000

As a Psychologist and Career Coach I know that for many job seekers it is not the “want to” that is missing it is overcoming the fear.

I have worked with many top sales professionals that can literally sell ice to Eskimos. Some have sold multi-million dollar IT outsourcing deals to world class companies. However, in job search they are paralyzed by fear, fear of rejection. It is one thing to lose a outsourcing sale it is another to be rejected for a job because of “not being good enough”.

Human beings register rejection in the same part of the brain that registers physical pain. Thus, fear of rejection is the fear of both emotional and physical pain. Asking for help (networking) is risking rejection that is why the #1 job seeking strategy is the most difficult for many job seekers.

Seth’s comments about not being in the mood is too simplistic. A mood is generated by an emotion which is generated by a thought. To change ones mood thinking has to change. Identifying the blocking thought and then changing the thought is the challenge. Not “being in the mood” is typically based on being fearful of trying and failing or trying and getting rejected. Being in the mood is anticipating either good things happening or at least nothing overwhelmingly bad happening.

So figure out what you are thinking that is getting in the way. Then change the thought and “get in the mood”.