Ed. Note: Stop me if you’ve heard this one.
A Good Lesson
An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat.
He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail. As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.
The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, ‘Hey old man, have you ever danced?’
The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, ‘No, I never did dance, — and just never wanted to.’
A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger grinned and said, ‘Well, you old fool, you’re gonna’ dance now,’ and started shooting at the old man’s feet. The old prospector in order to not get a toe blown off, or his boots perforated was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and Everybody was laughing fit to be tied.
When the last bullet had been fired the young gun- slinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.
The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double barreled shot-gun, and cocked both hammers back.
The loud, audible double click’s carried clearly through the desert air.
The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The quiet was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. He found it hard to swallow.
The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man’s hands.
The old man said, ‘Son, did you ever kiss a mule’s rear end?’
The boy bully swallowed hard and said, ‘No. But I’ve always wanted to.’
There are two lessons for us all here:
1. Don’t waste ammunition.
2. Don’t mess with old people.
No user commented in " Gunslingers, Old People and a Life Lesson "
If you are the same age as Conrad is, you do not qualify for the second lesson. I do.
Here is one about another old man:
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple.
The old man just stared. The young man said, “What’s the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?
The old man replied, “Got drunk once and had sex with a peacock. I was just wondering if you were my son ! “
Ramana, GL is 3 months younger (I think…the details surrounding his birth are hazy and has something to do with witness protection) and I think of him as a youth to sit at my knee.
Something tells me that an evening around a poker table with the two of you would be hilarious. I also suspect it might be financially devastating!
That is an inviting thought Conrad. I shall start honing my skills, long forgotten, to be prepared.
Ramana…thanks for agreeing with Conrad so much. He needs someone to agree with him more and more, him being so old and all.