They are not dumb or stupid, per se, but do have some odd thoughts. Let’s be charitable and call them THE UNIQUES. They have literally no governor on their thoughts and will spew forth such nonsense that you would normally laugh at them if social norms were a bit relaxed. But, instead we nod our heads politely at THE UNIQUE while thinking NO ONE IS GOING TO BELIEVE THIS when we tell ‘em back at the bar.

I thought of this the other day while listening to a rather well-educated person telling me how a psychic had told them that the ghost of a construction worker was living in a table lamp. The person actually got rid of the lamp based on this bs story. I dare you to listen to a story like this without your drink spewing out your nose. But I had to.

Here’s my question: When this happens, what do you do or say?

The master of such bloviating, of course, was Cliff Clavin on Cheers. His barmates simply made fun of him, like I would do with my own friends. The question really applies to our casual acquaintenances who we don’t really know well enough to call them on their stupid stories.

So, imagine you recently met someone at a party who started telling you their own version of the Buffalo Theory, like Cliff is doing here to Norm. What would you say?

“Well ya see, Norm, it’s like this… A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That’s why you always feel smarter after a few beers.”